Effective Date: April 11, 2025
Hark! And give ear, gentle User, to this most solemn declaration of privacy practices, set forth by 10 Week Shred, makers of the "Weeks Left" application (hereinafter referred to as "the Application," "our Digital Timepiece," or "this Memento Mori"). This document doth serve as a covenant betwixt thyself and our humble company, outlining with great flourish and exacting detail how we (or rather, how we do not) collect, process, store, or otherwise manipulate thine personal information. Verily, we have crafted this Application with the utmost respect for thy privacy, such that no data of thine doth ever cross the digital threshold of our dominion.
By installing and making use of this Application, thou dost acknowledge that thou hast perused this proclamation in its entirety, comprehended its verbose complexities, and consented to the terms and conditions contained herein. Should any article or verse hereof displease thee, thy sole recourse shall be to banish the Application forthwith from thy device and cease all use thereof.
For the purposes of this most elaborate privacy proclamation, these terms shall carry the meanings ascribed unto them below, lest confusion reign and clarity be vanquished:
"The Application" doth refer to the mobile software entitled "Weeks Left," a digital memento mori designed to calculate and display the remaining weeks in thy mortal coil, based on actuarial tables and information thou dost voluntarily provide. This encompasseth all features, functionalities, updates, and supplementary materials provided therein.
"Personal Information" shall encompass any particulars relating to thy person which mightst identify thee, including but not limited to thy name, electronic mail address, location, or any identifier particular to thy physical, physiological, mental, economic, cultural, or social identity. 'Tis of utmost importance to note that our Application is designed expressly to refrain from gathering such information.
"User-Provided Information" referreth solely to the birth date thou mightst enter into the Application for the calculation of thy remaining weeks, and any preferences thou mightst set for notifications. This information resideth exclusively upon thy device, much as a private journal might rest upon thy bedside table, unseen by any eyes save thine own.
"Device" signifieth the mobile telephone, tablet, or other portable computing apparatus upon which thou hast installed our Application.
"We," "Us," "Our," or "The Creator" referreth to 10 Week Shred, the entity responsible for the creation, maintenance, and distribution of the Application.
"Thou," "Thee," "Thy," "Thine," or "User" referreth to the individual who downloadeth, installeth, accesseth, or otherwise maketh use of the Application.
Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known throughout the digital realm that the cornerstone of our Application's privacy practices is the resolute commitment to the principle of non-collection. Like a ghost that leaves no footprints in the sand, our Application traverses thy device without gathering, harvesting, or absconding with thy personal data.
In the spirit of thorough disclosure, we shall enumerate the types of information our Application doth studiously avoid collecting:
The only information our Application doth require for its proper functioning is thy date of birth, which thou may voluntarily provide. This singular piece of information is used solely for the calculation of thy remaining weeks, based on statistical life expectancy tables for thy demographic. This information resideth exclusively on thy device and is not transmitted to us or any third party.
Our Application hath been designed with a technical architecture that physically preventeth the collection of thy personal information. Much like a bridge not built cannot be crossed, our Application lacks the very infrastructure necessary to transmit thy data to external servers. It operateth entirely within the confines of thy device, with all calculations, storage, and processing occurring locally.
Our Application may, with thy express permission, send thee notifications to remind thee of thy finite existence and the swift passage of time, that thou mightst live each day with purpose and intentionality.
Before any notification may appear upon thy device, our Application shall seek thy explicit consent through the standard permission mechanism provided by thy device's operating system. Thou art under no obligation to grant this permission, and thy decision shall in no way affect the core functionality of the Application.
These notifications may contain gentle reminders of thy remaining weeks, inspirational quotations on the value of time, or other memento mori contemplations. The content of these notifications is generated locally on thy device, based on templates embedded within the Application itself, and is not personalized or informed by any external data sources.
Thou mayest configure the frequency and timing of these notifications within the Application's settings. All such preferences are stored locally on thy device and are not transmitted to us or any third party.
All information entered into or generated by our Application, including thy birth date and notification preferences, is stored exclusively within the secure storage area allocated to the Application by thy device's operating system. This area is protected by the security mechanisms of thy device, including encryption if thy device doth support it.
Our Application maketh no use of cloud storage services, remote databases, or other external repositories. Thy information resideth solely on thy device, much as words written in the sand remain upon the beach until washed away by the tide.
Should thou choose to uninstall our Application from thy device, all associated data shall be removed according to the standard procedures of thy device's operating system. Once removed, this information cannot be recovered by us, for we never possessed it in the first place.
We solemnly declare that we do not share, sell, rent, trade, or otherwise disclose any personal information to any third party, for we collect none to begin with. Like a secret never spoken, thy data remaineth undisclosed because it never crosseth the threshold of our knowledge.
For the avoidance of doubt, the following common scenarios involving the sharing of user data are entirely non-applicable to our Application:
The most effective security measure against data breaches is the non-collection of data in the first place. As we collect no personal information through our Application, the risk of such information being compromised through our systems is, by definition, non-existent.
The security of the information stored locally on thy device is contingent upon the security features of thy device and its operating system. We encourage thee to make use of thy device's security features, such as passcodes, fingerprint recognition, or facial authentication, to protect all data stored thereon, including that associated with our Application.
As our Application transmits no personal information over networks, considerations related to the security of data in transit, such as encryption protocols or secure communication channels, are not applicable.
For Users residing within the territories of the European Economic Area, we acknowledge the rights afforded to thee under the General Data Protection Regulation, including the right of access, rectification, erasure, restriction of processing, data portability, and objection to processing. However, as we collect no personal information through our Application, these rights cannot be meaningfully exercised against us, for there is no information upon which to act.
For Users residing within the State of California, we acknowledge the rights afforded to thee under the California Consumer Privacy Act, including the right to know what personal information is collected, disclosed, or sold; the right to delete personal information; the right to opt-out of the sale of personal information; and the right to non-discrimination for exercising these rights. However, as we collect no personal information through our Application, these rights cannot be meaningfully exercised against us, for there is no information upon which to act.
Regardless of thy place of residence, thou maintainest complete control over the information stored locally on thy device through our Application. Thou mayest view, modify, or delete this information at any time through the Application's interface, or by uninstalling the Application altogether.
Our Application is not directed toward individuals below the age of 13 years (or the relevant age of digital consent in thy jurisdiction). The contemplation of mortality and the finite nature of existence may not be suitable for the very young, and parental discretion is advised.
Consistent with our general policy of non-collection, we do not knowingly collect personal information from children under the age of 13 (or the relevant age of digital consent in thy jurisdiction). As our Application is designed not to collect personal information from any user, this policy extends naturally to children as well.
We reserve the right to amend, modify, or otherwise update this privacy proclamation at any time, at our sole discretion. Such amendments may be necessitated by changes in law, changes in our practices, or the addition of new features to the Application.
We shall endeavor to notify thee of significant changes to this proclamation through appropriate means, which may include displaying a notice within the Application or requiring thy acknowledgment upon the Application's next launch following the update.
Thy continued use of the Application following any amendment to this proclamation shall constitute thy acceptance of the revised terms. If thou dost not agree with the amended terms, thy sole recourse shall be to cease use of the Application and remove it from thy device.
This proclamation shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the jurisdiction in which we primarily operate, without regard to its conflict of law principles.
Any dispute arising from or relating to this proclamation or the Application shall first be addressed through informal negotiation. If such negotiation faileth to resolve the dispute, it shall be submitted to binding arbitration in accordance with the rules of a recognized arbitration authority.
Given the non-collection of personal information by our Application, remedies related to the misuse of such information are logically limited. The most appropriate remedy for any dissatisfaction with our privacy practices would be the discontinuation of use of the Application.
Should any provision of this proclamation be deemed invalid, illegal, or unenforceable, such provision shall be severed from the remainder, which shall continue in full force and effect. The severed provision shall be replaced with a valid provision that most closely reflects the intent of the original.
This proclamation constitutes the entire agreement between thee and us regarding the privacy aspects of the Application, superseding any prior agreements, representations, or understandings, whether written or oral.
Our failure to enforce any right or provision of this proclamation shall not be considered a waiver of such right or provision. The waiver of any such right or provision shall be effective only if in writing and signed by a duly authorized representative of ours.
Should thou have any questions, concerns, or inquiries regarding this proclamation or the privacy practices of our Application, thou mayest contact us at the electronic mail address provided herein: support@fatshred.info
In closing, we remind thee that the purpose of our Application is to serve as a memento mori — a reminder of thy mortality. The weeks of thy life are indeed numbered, and it is our hope that this awareness shall inspire thee to live each day with purpose, intention, and appreciation for the precious gift of time. In this spirit, we have designed our Application to respect thy privacy absolutely, collecting no information about thee and allowing thee to contemplate thy finite existence in complete digital solitude.
By installing and using our Application, thou dost acknowledge that thou hast read this proclamation in its entirety, understood its terms, and agreed to be bound thereby. If thou dost not agree with any part of this proclamation, we implore thee to uninstall the Application forthwith.
Tempus fugit. Memento mori.