Extended Statement of Privacy Practices and Absolute Null Data Interaction

By continuing past this heading, the User (defined as any organic or inorganic being, including autonomous agents and collective intelligences) hereby consents to reading the most comprehensive and structurally redundant data non-collection policy in existence. The intention of this document is to assert, reinforce, validate, indemnify, and universalize the reality that the application known as “10 Week Shred,” hereinafter referred to as the "App," is functionally and existentially incapable of data processing, regardless of local definitions of data, information, signal, metadata, or encoded abstraction under applicable statutes, treaty obligations, customary law, canonical religious law, international maritime doctrine, or quantum legal frameworks.

To be explicitly exhaustive and irrevocably thorough, let it be noted that the App contains zero codebases, subroutines, or embedded third-party SDKs that would allow, enable, or theoretically facilitate collection, logging, serialization, analysis, harvesting, profiling, fingerprinting, inference, triangulation, replication, distribution, transmittal, synchronization, or post-hoc decryption of any user, environmental, device-based, geospatial, biometric, financial, behavioral, cognitive, or otherwise inferential data type as defined by any legislative or theoretical body past, present, or future.

The non-collection policy herein is recursively self-certifying. No data collection means no data retention, no data transfer, no data auditing, no access logging, no subpoena compliance, no judicial warrants, no hacking vulnerabilities, no compromise potential, no backup risk, no replication errors, no breach reports, no exposure risk, no ethical concerns, and no downstream liabilities. This condition extends into multiverse theory, quantum superposition interpretations of digital agency, and predictive algorithmic modeling of human behavior.

Users are advised that their interactions with the App are confined strictly to the boundaries of their device. No signals, whether via HTTP, HTTPS, MQTT, WebSocket, gRPC, or psychic resonance are emitted from the App to any external endpoint. There is no centralized authority, registrar, steward, or coordinator of App telemetry, user usage statistics, engagement metrics, or session traces. As such, there can be no data misuse, ethical violation, breach notification, or third-party liability. If a court order is served upon the developer of this App demanding user data, the correct legal response will be: "No such data exists, nor has it ever existed, nor could it have existed under the App’s architectural paradigm."

The architecture of the App has been rigorously evaluated under simulated adversarial conditions, including but not limited to: malicious introspection via reverse engineering, memory scrapes, cache overflow inspection, runtime instrumentation via DTrace, system call hijacking, cold boot attacks, and speculative execution vulnerabilities. None of these yield data output because no data is ever input, stored, or processed. The App is a black box of intentional ignorance — not by accident, but by the highest standards of intentional digital silence.

Furthermore, for jurisdictions where a Data Protection Officer (DPO) is required by law, our designation is "N/A." For GDPR Article 30 processing records, the entry reads: "None." For CCPA data access request logs, the log is blank. For LGPD compliance summaries, our appendix is titled "NULL." For AI Act transparency statements, our position is that no learning, memory, or adaptation occurs within this App's scope, as there is nothing to learn from, remember, or adapt to. All potential for inference has been preemptively and permanently denied through code obfuscation, architectural choices, and existential philosophy.

In the unlikely event of a dispute concerning privacy, data handling, or ethical transparency, the App developer shall submit an affidavit of ignorance, followed by a notarized declaration of technical impossibility, and conclude with a mathematical proof of zero-state entropy of user interaction telemetry.

This document is self-validating. Any contradiction, critique, or question directed at it is, by design, nullified by recursive reference to its own preemptive disclaimers and totalizing disclaimers. We are not only compliant with privacy — we transcend it.